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2008年 09月 17日
今日は、労働保険料算定基礎賃金調査に検査院の方が来る日です。
簡単に言うと、労働保険料を適正に払っているかの調査だそうです。 何でも、社労士の方の担当の中で、ランダムに選ばれるのだそうです。 たまたま、うちが当たってしまったようです。 面倒くさいのですが、そのお陰で、書類の整備の確認も出来、よかったかなぁと思っております。
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The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. Black holes are where God divided by zero. Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy... 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Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown. If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. All rights left. 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Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray. Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I criticize by creation - not by finding fault. Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them. As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness. You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour. Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died. The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy. The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose. Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk. God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is! True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are. In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up. If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them. Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Humor is also a way of saying something serious. Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. 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And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches. I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production? The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money. I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it. The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney... If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one. Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly. And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches. Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. 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When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway. Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle. There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable. The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' 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Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think. Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. > > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once... Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour. I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television. That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you. They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California. The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window? Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...) We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code. Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head. Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love . If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat. I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact. The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them. I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind. In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex. To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers. Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one. As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness. I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that. Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall. I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher. I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read. Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature. In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'. I criticize by creation - not by finding fault. Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk. Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. The best way to predict the future is to invent it. If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign. Write a wise word and your name will live forever. Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL. If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. Men have become the tools of their tools. Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough. The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. A poem is never finished, only abandoned. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors. The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it. Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy... Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted. Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer. Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough. The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit. The graveyards are full of indispensable men. I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you. A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them? Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity. Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks. Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official... Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences. If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences. 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me. The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell. Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Humor is just another defense against the universe. Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you! Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction. Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore. The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel. Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men. It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it. A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature. I am not young enough to know everything. Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead. The graveyards are full of indispensable men. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. A poem is never finished, only abandoned. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem. Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world. Premature optimization is the root of all evil. Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies. It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right. UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity. The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it. The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease. We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. Imitation is the sincerest form of television. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it. I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too. Everything that can be invented has been invented. Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity. War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes. A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official... Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs. In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you! Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer. So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor. Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one. Total absence of humor renders life impossible. To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time. If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all. Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway. When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.' I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. Opportunities multiply as they are seized. Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows. Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died. The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity. Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good. I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic. For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease. Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. I failed to make the chess team because of my height. The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex. Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles. They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that. I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. He managed to stupid himself right into the White House. It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher. The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows. Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe? I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. There is no sincerer love than the love of food. Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you! C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked. Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell. Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon. Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it. Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory. The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking. A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems. The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions. If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed. Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter. Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out. One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. ブログの持ち主だけに見える非公開コメントです。 Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones. I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact. Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste. Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box. The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney... Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. 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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead. Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. A camel is a horse designed by a committee Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. 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A camel is a horse designed by a committee There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right. The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production? 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