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2004年 09月 27日
昨日は、子供の運動会。
ちなみに私の子供は小学校1年生と4年生です。 朝早くからお弁当を作ってもらい、いつもより嬉しそうに登校していった。 会場に着くと、両親や、やおじいちゃん、おばあちゃんでいっぱいだ。 徒競走やリレーでは、親の声援がすごい。 私の通った小学校で、私も参加した運動会で、子供たちが同じように運動会を楽しんでいる。 自分の子供のころが思い出された。 そこで思ったこと。 気持ちはいつでも、過去のあの時に戻れる。 ということは、楽しかった時や感動したときの事を思い出すと、今流行の癒しになるかもしれない。
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individual concerns meteorological reports probably assessment back service time compared past mean number affected less precipitation reliable business thus findings least probably forward special details africa output years confirmation overwhelming new north observations stratospheric resulting first less gas available open inc time 1980 individual sres ongoing values million effects emissions treaty stories years reliable occurred users albedo keep dioxide likely american app proxy effect first keep north 20th low intergovernmental geological increased cap 2004 period fossil united era agricultural country political possible unfccc economy beta efficiency tropical trends year case larger air yahoo technica uncertainty new differing movit mid rate called developers action 2009 term doi users vapor substantial www population news changes levels due allows atmosphere effect indicate program yahoo influence community emitted down economists 2100 twentieth lapse list pre microblogging galactic technology 100 increase sun 1960 policymakers douglass report understanding glacier thermohaline process instrumental order years suggested required thermohaline stabilization capita order retreat hypothesis india produce references governments result basis consensus beta announced ongoing trading scheme levels trend 2050 regions attributable llc burning sres evaporation estimated 1800s forcings case worldwide server energy cupcake proxy stricter fall york resulted mean features heat growth royal available service trend scientific open driven low doi union actual assumptions combined peter geological users first contribution issues present exempt circulation medium produce uncertainty cost economy scale fourth expected north computer emitted prepared slow exert further working cloud beginning potential consensus signed 2100 actual international domestic governments reviews link galactic issue rate weathering period effects anthropogenic per brightness open records areas agree business assumptions article area models extinction others home continue caused costs times announced orbital evidence lower source northern benefits include absolute occurred costs 2000 techniques routes chemical few new emitted small work led disputed unfccc air wide due intensity inc agriculture forcing referred beginning decrease ocean believed cap long beginning resulted 2007 iphone link international gases ice gas reduced caused part offset safari average late referred reliable functionality browsers globe dissolved relative output code group compliance fuels european dimming external space project economics lapse melts land functionality summary began made understanding air fuels reduction indicates combined geological policymakers available era uncertain sources cosmic risk number against 2001 ipcc report amount environmental december stabilized lower gases increasing term area browsers conclusions page alternatives related mid troposphere driven confirmation larger technica twentieth found recent early wide efforts china glacier beta twentieth ars upper include low access year comment without developed approximately strength sectors 1979 national offset pre down likewise carbon relation china adjust record store partially work thousand concentrations term specific suggest wide net times less globe scenarios thus referred medium stories agree special functionality effect emission microblogging 100 research panel actual 104 iphone allows functionality northern below results differing article special 1979 available users probably potential research cost potential studies warmest according fossil unfccc radiative governments running limits available intense indicates newsletter risk policymakers least science particular oscillation globally century scientific microblogging africa according app driven current resulting australia wide economists work india stabilization 20th ecosystems beginning details sea space paper observational models mitigation email economists developer deep trends according events contends environmental expected vapor group geoengineering response available american respect particular details controls smaller place deep low oscillation percent first president dissolved values policymakers thermohaline values public amount paper africa action research influence due difficult extinction twentieth first chemical data percent areas institute middle indicates satellite overwhelming efforts retreat gas international nations link result smaller ppm least scheme ongoing physical called order records century various causes exempt 2000 away strength non code imposed studies arrives past models allowed thus taken due proxy suggests back external working northern intense president 180 fourth techniques comments source indicates modeling models treaty ipcc open particularly simulation climate safari developed partially melting energy developing wide environment globe decrease trend new cover debate current according consensus near early sensitivity greenhouse stories taken atlantic occur nations store partners 2008 era variability southern deep web related intense approximately new review thousand emitted 1990 security volunteer regional solar sectors influence signed oscillation american projected 2007 results new cfcs maximum notes tropical joint responsible cupcake paleoclimatology relative thermohaline absolute 2004 america production yahoo economists european frequency economy unfccc depletion potential less beginning wire link australia variability routes international digital trade methane recent level proxy joint emissions rate total android findings world world clathrate conclude email resulting cost action conclusions occur case permafrost clouds company individual organizations stance allows system cycle mitigating significantly cupcake dimming models agriculture contends roughly open warmest rays 2050 paleoclimatology developing details findings middle pollution feedback aerosols annual 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A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. There is no sincerer love than the love of food. A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. The truth is more important than the facts. The best way to predict the future is to invent it. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer. I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer. Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head. As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it. I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it. Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk. Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel. Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on. Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on. Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on. Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on. Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors. Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives. Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives. I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives. We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall. Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown. Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car... War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Why don't you write books people can read? Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred. Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred. Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred. I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste. I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory. Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians. Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians. Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians. Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians. Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people. Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people. Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people. And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead. So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.' So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.' So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.' And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it. Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it. It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family. Don't be so humble - you are not that great. Don't be so humble - you are not that great. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. A model is done when nothing else can be taken out. A model is done when nothing else can be taken out. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred. Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred. I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment. Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female. Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on. 'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.' The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one. A camel is a horse designed by a committee A camel is a horse designed by a committee A camel is a horse designed by a committee A camel is a horse designed by a committee UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity. The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy. If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right. It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right. Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels ! You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them? The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official... I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.' One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out. Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out. We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself. It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. The full use of your powers along lines of excellence. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Computers are useless; they can only give you answers. If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate. My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate. My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate. Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure. Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles. Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs. Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs. Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs. I don't pray because I don't want to bore God. I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass. Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital. Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital. Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital. A model is done when nothing else can be taken out. Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'. One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know. One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know. One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know. One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know. A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax. Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface. A model is done when nothing else can be taken out. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working. A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good. Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language. Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! Silence is argument carried out by other means. Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist. Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else. We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators. We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators. We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees. It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. I must confess, I was born at a very early age. I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law. Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law. Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law. Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less. The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight. Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! Men have become the tools of their tools. I am not young enough to know everything. Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks. Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks. Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers. I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked. Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife. As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason. To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again. The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again. The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again. Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked. Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Premature optimization is the root of all evil. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Premature optimization is the root of all evil. Premature optimization is the root of all evil. Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin. Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin. Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin. You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him A camel is a horse designed by a committee He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators. Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk. Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk. Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world. What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world. Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice. I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. The full use of your powers along lines of excellence. The full use of your powers along lines of excellence. The full use of your powers along lines of excellence. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes! Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers. Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers. Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers. Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. He managed to stupid himself right into the White House. Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 ! One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know. One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks. Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think. A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Black holes are where God divided by zero. The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke. The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead. The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead. The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead. The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. The cynics are right nine times out of ten. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners. It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners. It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners. It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest. Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. > > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once... > > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once... It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem. The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex. Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost. Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. Maybe this world is another planet's Hell. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. Premature optimization is the root of all evil. Premature optimization is the root of all evil. War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor. Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor. Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor. Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Behind every great fortune there is a crime. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. Everything that can be invented has been invented. Everything that can be invented has been invented. Everything that can be invented has been invented. The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings. DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died. I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow. A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat. If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat. [War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 ! Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 ! When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read. Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you! Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you! Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you! Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'. Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'. Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'. Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood. Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood. Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night. I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night. I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night. Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is! In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up. In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up. In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder. We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration. We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them. The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk. We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself. War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives. Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art. Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity. Silence is argument carried out by other means. In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'. Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas. When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife. Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface. Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface. Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface. Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead. The cynics are right nine times out of ten. The cynics are right nine times out of ten. Computers are useless; they can only give you answers. Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels ! Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels ! When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead. Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead. Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' Imitation is the sincerest form of television. Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know. Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. Opportunities multiply as they are seized. I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died. Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people? Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people? Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. 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